One of the most helpful things you can do for someone who has lost a loved one is to let them know you're there for them.
You don't need to find the perfect words or try to make their sadness disappear. Listening, showing kindness and offering practical help can make a real difference.
What should I say?
It's perfectly fine to acknowledge that you don't know what to say.
Simple, genuine words such as "I'm so sorry" or "I'm here if you need anything" may be more comforting than trying to find something positive about the situation.
Let the person talk about their loss if they want to. Try to listen without feeling that you need to offer advice or share your own experiences.
Avoid assuming you know how they're feeling. Even people who have experienced a similar loss may respond very differently.
What practical help can I offer?
Grief can make everyday tasks feel exhausting. Rather than making a general offer of help, you could suggest something specific.
For example:
- "Would you like me to bring dinner over tomorrow?"
- "Can I help you with some shopping?"
- "Would it help if I came with you to that appointment?"
- "Would you like some company this weekend?"
Always give them the choice. What feels helpful to one person may feel intrusive to another.
What if they don't want to talk?
Try not to take it personally. Some people need space, while others find comfort in company.
You can still show you care by sending an occasional message or checking in without expecting a reply.
Let them know you're available when they feel ready.
How long should I keep offering support?
There's no set timetable for grief, and someone may continue to need support long after the initial bereavement.
Remembering important dates, checking in from time to time and continuing to include them in everyday activities may be appreciated.
If you're concerned that someone is struggling to cope, you could gently encourage them to speak to their GP.
Above all, be patient. You don't need to have all the answers. Being thoughtful, understanding and reliable is often enough.
For more information, visit the NHS guidance on grief and bereavement.